The Desire of the Beholder

Society has been enamored with beauty from the beginning of time. Our desire to stay forever young and beautiful is present everywhere now. The standard of beauty is essentially a variable standard of what it means to be attractive that is set on the feminine beauty ideals present in a given culture. It is a toxic idea that has harmed countless men and women from all walks of life.

Photo by Alina Levkovich

Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder. People value you depending on your physical appearance. The most vital features are a lovely face, a curvaceous physique, and hairless and pale skin. If you are attractive, you will be the crowd's favorite but, if you're unattractive, you're not loved enough. That is why people conceal their flaws in order to appear appealing and pleasing to others. They believe and do what society tells them to do because they want to appear beautiful in the eyes of others. They believe that if they do not meet society's beauty standards, they would be rejected. As a result, other people's self-esteem deteriorates. They are afraid of what others will think, thus they are hesitant to reveal their scars, dark spots, and other characteristics that most people see as flaws when in fact they are natural for humans. They can't wear anything they want or anything that will make them feel confidently gorgeous because of their physical looks without being judged by society. Also, some people compare themselves to others who they believe are more beautiful than them. As a result, they feel small. They enjoy other people's attractiveness, but they begin to doubt their own value because they believe they aren't loveable enough.

This is the identical experience that I had. But, over time, I began to forgive myself and see that what I and others felt about myself was untrue. I determined one day that I was attractive and it has nothing to do with how the rest of the world sees me. I learned that I am loved, deserving, significant, and sufficient. I learned to accept what I thought were my shortcomings. As I learned about unreasonable beauty standards and mainstream body positivity, I learned to stand up for myself and respect myself. Some folks, in particular, see the best in me. Some individuals make me feel significant while I am incapable of loving myself. They made me feel attractive just by loving me.

You are loved, valued, important, and enough, regardless of your color, size, or look. Don't conform to their unrealistic beauty standards. Simply because you do not meet society's beauty standards does not mean you are not lovely. Everyone is flawed and imperfect, yet they all have beauty. Never let your size, color, or any other standard define you. The days are long, but the years are short. We only have so much time and energy to spend with ourselves and the world. You are your own definition of beautiful.