A Love in the Time of Corona

Due to the same reason, the pandemic, we all have been stuck at home, trying to kill time and unlocking new things to skip the boredom. Dating apps are a newly discovered pastime that has captivated people's interest. I think by this time, most of us have tried downloading the said apps and registering our information to find people that we can connect or talk with as we wait until the time we can go outside. Have you heard the term 'quaranfling?’ It is an online dating encounter that has started in quarantine.

Some people, even before COVID-19, have been using these apps namely Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid, among others. They have been using these platforms to meet or date people and to have fun personally. But enter the quarantine, it has become more rampant, especially since we are all looking for company or companionship in times of isolation. Not to mention, among millennials, there are now many online dating techniques that we can use, like watching Netflix together through Rave, Discord, or Messenger.

Photo by Alexander Sinn

I tried looking for someone in this time of lockdown that would understand the loneliness I'm feeling. I met this guy on Bumble who is in his early 30s while I’m a decade younger. We ended up talking to each other on our accounts. We had a conversation if we could have a date when things got back to normal. There was also a night when we got the chance to have a video call, making it the best 3 hours of my life. He made me feel important and validated. However, the next thing that happened was something I didn't see coming. The next morning, I cried in bed all day, feeling ashamed to cry over a guy I just met online a week ago. I know I'm easily attached and I believed that giving everything is the only way you can feel something. He ended things because he was not mentally okay and physically ready to start a new relationship or whatever he was still in love with his ex. I thought things through; I realized that maybe it didn't work because I was trying to move fast, ignoring the bigger picture that we need to know ourselves better first. Maybe it's better to not have met someone that will just destroy you or someone that you will also end up ruining in return. We are still young and we got a whole life ahead of us. For now, we need the time to work on bettering ourselves and reaching our dreams. Anyway, he came back and asked for forgiveness. I told him that I understand and we've learned things from each other. It’s a lesson that the next time we encounter again, we wouldn't do the same mistake, and we won't get hurt again.

Months had passed and I decided to give online dating another shot. I'm only open to something casual now. I'm currently dating a guy who I also met on Bumble. We agreed to have a casual relationship. I'm fine with it but sometimes I wish I can express to him what's on my mind but then, I don't want him to know my private life. I want to guard myself because pain scares me more lately. I don't know if this thing between us will work since he is busy because of work and personal stuff that he prioritizes more than relationships. For now, I'm trying to learn how to communicate with him without giving too much away. I hope the time comes that I won't be afraid of what will be the outcome.

These are my recent encounters in "quaranflings.” To be honest, it doesn't matter if you meet each other on a dating app or in person, what matters is that you both try to work it out. It will work out when the two of you know how to communicate without faking it. It will work if, from the beginning, you will already be clear about what you want and the expectations of the relationship. It will work when you both want it to and are willing to put in an effort. Life is too short to not be sincere and waste each other's time and feelings. If you agree to take online dating to a real, personal one, make sure that you get to know the person first. Make him or her earn your trust and vice versa. During the first meetings, always go to crowded places. Be vigilant and alert to ensure your safety. You should also observe the way they treat you and the way they act before you make a decision to trust them completely. You need to know if it's just a quaranfling or if it can be something more. Either way, if we ended up getting something or nothing, it's okay because we always have ourselves. Swipe right and make it right.

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Previously submitted to The Cascade